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yamigooops · 3 years ago

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Hey I know you beta’d for Gnarlypunkassbitch for Our Enigma. I noticed she’s deleted her ao3 account and her Twitter, do you know what happened or if she’s ok?

Omg yes! Ok so she DMed me before deleting and let me know that she’s had some ongoing issues with both her physical and mental health. I’ve known about them for a little while, as that is the reason she hasn’t updated the story since like February I think?

Essentially she had been feeling a tremendous amount of pressure over not having the time, energy, or inspiration to write and/or update the story. Despite readers’ support and reassurance for her to take her time and prioritize her wellbeing, as writers online we can often get caught up in the trap of thinking that just because we have a story that might be successful, which I would absolutely consider OE successful with tens of thousands of reads, we have to update on a constant schedule or our readers are going to get mad.

I know when she first started it she updated regularly, but from what I know it was supposed to end a while ago but she kept extending it bc readers wanted more. She eventually had to prioritize her well-being over the story, since she lost inspiration. And while this happened a few weeks ago, she still felt the pressure from AO3 and Twitter, so she decided that a full cleanse would be best for her.

However, we are still in contact, so she hasn’t completely vanished. I’ve emailed her in response to the DMs she sent me before leaving Twitter, and expressed my support for her to take care of herself first. She did say in the DMs that she may come back and repost the story in the future after she’s worked on herself, but that’s completely up to her. I do still have the beta read documents, and she still has the originals, so the story still exists, just not publicly right now. I was also talking with her about releasing a podfic of the story, though I hadn’t planned to even start recording it until October.

As of right now, she hasn’t responded. I emailed her on April 6th when she left, so it hasn’t been super long since then. But I expressed that she didn’t have to respond or anything if she needed a full cleanse from everything. Though I did express that I was sending her good vibes and thoughts, as well as my willingness to act as a channel for her to communicate with all the fans of OE in order to update you all on her state, as well as share your support and love for her.

I just feel so incredibly privileged to have been a part of this story, even if the work I did never got shared publicly. Because I got to become friends with a generous, kind-hearted, marvelously talented woman, while also sharpening my editing skills at the same time. Like I literally kept a cry count throughout this fuckin fic and the first read through I cried 15 times, and by the end of the beta it was up to 27. If a writer is able to make you cry even when you know what’s coming next? That’s true mastery in my opinion. So like wow. I just…. I’ll never shut up about this fic y’all. Never ever. I wish I could share the beta docs so y’all could still read it, but that would be a breach of her trust since she took it down publicly and hasn’t responded to my message yet. So I unfortunately won’t be doing that.

I’m also honored that people have come to me to ask after her. Like wowza. I’ve had numerous people do so, and I just can’t get over it. The love that has already been shown just in the past 6 days is astonishing. She impacted so many in such a profound way, and I am more than happy to act as a bridge to you all now. Though I will say that if you’d like to send her love and/or we’ll wishes that I won’t be contacting her again until she responds to me. Because we all need to respect her journey to healing, and if that means never hearing from her again, I hope you’re all willing to accept that and still wish her well.

So really all we can do now is sit together in our love for her and the story, send her positive energy in her road toward healing, and cross our fingers that she will one day bring this masterpiece back to life. But the decision is completely up to her, and I hope you’ll all support her just as much as I do. Keep an eye out for her possible return, maybe check like once every month or two. I will also make an announcement if she does return, so let’s do what we can right now to get her those good, healing vibes 🥰🥲

Below are my true feelings regarding the (hopefully temporary) loss of this absolutely incredible writer and friend:

Also. I haven’t gotten to freak out about OE with anyone but Gnarly since none of my friends read it so like….. y’all should tell me your favorite part and I will share mine bc like wowowoowowowow whatta fuckin masterpiece 😤🥲

#cel sobs #cel speaks #anonie #I’m literally so sad about it though #like fr I genuinely miss her #gnarly if you’re seeing this don’t feel bad #but also like….#we will be welcoming you back with open arms #i thank you all so much for the support and love you’ve shown her #well #I suppose I’m thanking you on her behalf :’)#our enigma #our enigma bakugou #our enigma fanfic #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #ao3 bakugou #bakugou x reader

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 4 years ago

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Ni Kar'tayl Gar Darasuum

Pairing: Din Djarin x Pregnant! Reader

Summary: When you finally wake up, Din knows it’s time to break the news. (Part 2 of Aliit Be Cuur)

Warnings: Pregnancy, Mild Description of Injuries

Word Count: 3700

A/N: The much requested part 2 to Aliit Be Cuur! I took some inspiration from a comment by @linkpk88. My apologies for the long ass name. I just wanted to keep up with the Mando’a theme.

__________

“M-mando?” Your voice shook and cracked from having gone so long without being used. You were trying to reach towards him but in reality, your fingers only lifted off the medical cot ever so slightly.

Mando looked as if he’d possibly fallen asleep at your bedside, though it was difficult to know for sure with the helmet and the way he had a habit of sitting so still, even when he was awake. At your words, though, he immediately stood up, shooting to attention and coming to your bedside, “Cyar’ika? How are you feeling?”

“W-water? Please?” Your mouth was dry and throat stiff. It felt like you’d been breathing in hot sand and it had sucked all the moisture from your body.

Mando reached down to a water pack he had for himself on the ground by the crate he’d been residing on, unscrewing the lid, and tilting it slightly at your lips. The liquid felt like the best thing you’d ever drank, life suddenly coming back to your body at the small amount of water. “Thank you,” You said as he put the lid back on.

Mando sighed, his gloved hand coming down to rub over your knuckles gently, careful to avoid anywhere covered with bandages, “Why would you run in like that?”

“I thought you were dead. I was ready to kill the damn thing with my own two hands. I certainly can tell you I wasn’t expecting it to explode.” You attempted to chuckle weakly but you flinched, hand reaching for your torso in a poor attempt at soothing the pain of the broken ribs and burns.

Mando noticed the way your fingers grazed unassumingly over your belly that held the secret everyone but you knew about and he stiffened beneath the beskar armor. “How long have I been out?”

“About a day. The attack was yesterday.” He answered, pulling the crate closer to your bedside so he could sit beside you while you spoke.

You groaned at the thought of being unconscious for so long, “Am I dying?” You asked in an attempt at making a joke to lighten the mood. You could practically feel the anxiety and stress radiating off Mando and you wanted to try to lighten the mood but clearly it hadn’t helped. Your grip on his fingers tightened slightly, reassuring him. “Hey, I’m kidding. It’s gonna be alright.”

Mando’s silence was not something you were unaccustomed to. Even now that your relationship was much closer than professional, he was a man of few words. You still couldn’t help the way your face a little when you felt like your joke may have caused more harm than good.

Little did you know that Mando had glanced up over your shoulder and made eye contact with the nurse from yesterday, the one who had shown him the unborn child within your womb. Of course, the nurse couldn’t tell that the Mandolorian was looking at him but he still sent the masked man a knowing, almost pushing look.

As selfish as it made Mando feel, because obviously he was very concerned for your wellbeing and wanted nothing more than for you to be awake and okay, he was relieved when you remained asleep through the night. It gave him time to get his own thoughts straight, how he felt and how he would tell you.

Children were sacred in Mandolorian culture. With depleted numbers, many of the Alor had encouraged child rearing amongst Mandolorians or the adoption of Foundlings to save the Way. Even so, Mando had honestly never actually seriously considered being a father, at least not at this stage of his life. He had Grogu, to whom he was a father by the Creed, but physically rearing his own genetic children felt different to him, even if it wasn’t supposed to. He lived a dangerous life full of criminals and skeezy backwater planets and he was comfortable that way. Even if it was preferred that Mandolorians reproduce, he was one of the few that had been called more to a life of service. Besides, after losing everyone he’d ever loved, from his birth parents to his clan, he was used to being alone. A part of him was scared to bring more people into his life because he didn’t want to keep losing them. Even accepting the fact that he loved you took a long time.

But Mando was nothing if not a man of duty and honor and, as the leader of his clan of two, your lover, a father to Grogu, and now a father to your unborn child, he had a responsibility to protect and care for all within his clan, which was now about to expand to a clan of four. It was a responsibility that he had actually come to almost look forward to in some aspects in the early morning hours when he allowed his mind to move from the hardships that you were sure to face to the happy memories you were all sure to make together.

“There’s-there’s something you need to know.” He began directly, his modulated voice sounding strained.

Your smile faded at his tone and you gave him a concerned look, “Wait, am I actually dying?”

His helmet shook side to side in a moment of silence before he continued, struggling to find the right words. All the words he’d spent all night rehearsing in his head were failing him now. “No. They said you’re going to be fine.” He began, another pause between words as the actual confession was so much harder to get out than he imagined it would be. Mando had never been a man of many words but suddenly there were no words at all that seemed fitting.

Your eyebrows raised and you shook your head a little, indicating for him to continue. Nerves buzzed through your body. Mando was never like this. Sure, he had never been very talkative but he was concise and straight to the point when he did. He was never one to beat around the bush or draw out information for dramatic effect. Whatever he had on his mind must have been serious if he were struggling this badly. “What’s wrong, Mando? What happened?”

“The nurse came by while you were out. He said you’re pregnant.” The words came out clear and blunt, straight to the point. It was the only way he could process the information himself and he struggled to find a more delicate way to put it to you.

Your jaw went slack at the news, “What?”

“You didn’t know?” It wasn’t so much a question as much as it was a confirmation of what he had hoped. You hadn’t known. You weren’t keeping secrets from him. That alone made him feel better.

You shook your head, looking a little offended at the suggestion, “No, of course not. I- I wouldn’t have-” Your brain was moving a million miles a minute and cohesive sentences were difficult to form. “You have to trust me that I would have told you if I knew.”

The sentiment let out a floodgate of relief in Mando’s chest. “What do you want to do?” He asked simply. Throughout the night, he had thought about this long and hard and the more he thought, the more he was actually excited about the prospect of having a baby. An actual baby. He knew that this wasn’t just his decision though.

You swallowed hard, looking down at your stomach that you had just noticed was covered with Mando’s cape. “I-I don’t know. I need some time to think. This is just… a lot.”

You didn’t talk about it for a while. You barely spoke at all for almost an hour. After he knew you were alright, Mando had left your side to take Grogu outside. The poor kid had been cooped up inside for almost two days. It also allowed you time to think without the pressure of him being right beside you. Mando didn’t know if you needed time alone to process the information or if you needed him there to talk it through but he knew that he preferred to have time to himself to figure things out and it was the best thing he could think of to help you.

The nurse had stopped by while Mando was gone, just to ensure that the Mandolorian had in fact informed you that you were pregnant. He went over your vitals, important basic information about being pregnant, answered any questions you had, and reapplied bacta to all your wounds, which were estimated to be fully healed up within the next few hours with minimal scarring, thanks to the miracle medicine. You felt better after he left, physically and emotionally.

When Mando returned a few hours later, you were sitting up in bed, having made nearly a full recovery. “You’re looking better.” He commented as he walked over to you.

You gave a small smile of acknowledgement before looking down at your hands and flexing your wrists. You stretched out your torso a little bit. Your back was certainly achy but at least you didn’t feel like you had been hit by a flaming X-wing anymore. Mando felt better now that he could see the burns and abrasions that had littered so much of your body fading away to your natural skin color, only a few looking like they might possibly even leave a scar.

“I’m feeling better.” You responded and it was clear that you meant it about everything.

Grogu toddled towards the bed and reached his tiny arms out in an attempt to reach the frame and climb his way up to you but couldn’t reach. With an amused chuckle, you bent down and lifted the baby effortlessly.

Mando didn’t want to press you about the matter but he was desperate to know what exactly your future held. He stood in waiting silence until you spoke again, “How do you feel about this?”

Despite the fact that you were often concerned for others before yourself, he hadn’t been expecting that question. It also just wasn’t a question he had ever been used to being asked. Nobody usually cared. “How do I feel?”

You nodded, looking up to him, “Yeah.”

Mando sighed before sitting on the medical cot beside you, the thin mattress dipping more under his weight and the weight of his armor. He struggled to find the right answer to this question. Not just the right answer that you wanted to hear but the right answer that was truthful to himself. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, gently stroking Grogu’s soft head while you glanced to your left at Mando. You had tried to pick up on Mando’a since you’d been travelling with Mando but he rarely spoke it unless it was a knee-jerk expletive, which you too were now an expert on.

“It means I love you. I know you. But it’s much deeper than those words mean in this language. But… that’s how I feel.” It took a lot for Mando to admit his feelings for you. Words of affection were seldom exchanged between the two of you. Your love for each other manifested more as just a mutual feeling of love, protection, and honesty with each other that extended beyond platonic friendship. Mando especially had a hard time expressing his feelings so when the words left his mouth, you couldn’t take your eyes off the visor in his helmet that hid those eyes you wished so badly you could finally see.

“I love you too,” You started, wishing you could repeat those words in his tongue but knowing you would do them no justice. There was a brief pause while you inhaled a deep thoughtful breath before you continued, vulnerably honest, “I would like to raise this child with you, Mando.”

Again, another pause. The silence hung thick and uncomfortable in the air, at least for you. You wished so deeply you could see his face so you could at least try to get a glimpse of something that might be going on in his head. You swallowed hard, attempting to get rid of the lump in your throat that was forming in the midst of his pensive silence. You took your eyes off his helmet that seemed to be pointed towards your knees or the ground just below them, though you could never tell exactly where his gaze ever actually was, and stared at your lap where you began to pick at your fingers with your thumb nail.

“Din.”

“What?”

You looked back over to the Mandalorian to see his visor turn towards you and this time you were sure his gaze matched. “If we’re going to have a child together, I want you to know my name. It’s Din. Din Djarin.”

You smiled, knowing how important this was to him. Mandalorian culture was still something you were learning about and you hadn’t met any other than Man- Din - but he had never told you his name before so you assumed that perhaps it was like his face, where you couldn’t know it in its true form. “Din Djarin,” You tested the name on your tongue, “I like it. It suits you.”

Din’s mouth fell in disbelief beneath his helmet at the way his name rolled so sweetly off your tongue and he let out a little sigh of happiness when you had said you liked it. Though saying his name was not breaking the Creed, it was something he very seldom told anyone. It reminded him of his home planet and his birth parents, good memories tainted by tragedy that he preferred to avoid. It was also a way that he kept people at an arm’s length, a habit he’d developed quickly as a distrusting bounty hunter. But he didn’t want to be called Mando by you anymore. If you were going to give him the gift of a child, a literal human being to call his own, the least he could give in return was as much of him as he had to give.

“There’s one more thing,” He began, reaching into his pocket. You stayed silent but waiting as you watched him pull a long chain from his pants, a small pearlescent shard dangling from the end. He held it up for you to see, the jagged and unrefined edges to the uniquely beautiful stone swaying in his grip. “I would like you to become my riduur.”

Your mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape. That word you knew. The Armorer had asked Din if you were his riduur back on Navarro all those months ago, to which he honestly answered no to. “I love you, Din, but I don’t want you to marry me just because I’m pregnant.”

“In my culture, we come to have our own children in several ways but marriage is not necessary in any. Like I said earlier, mesh’la: Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum. And I would be extremely grateful if you would do me the honor of joining me in riduurok, baby or not.” He confessed, pressing the necklace into your hands.

The edges, though jagged, were not sharp by any means. Simply unrefined but there was a beauty in it. The light created the illusions of different textures across the small stone. The chain was thin and of a material that you didn’t recognize, a dark grey metal that definitely was not silver, beskar, gold, or steel. “Usually betrothal tokens are rings. I know this is not a ring but Cobb had managed to scour a few broken pieces of Krayt pearl from the dragon yesterday and should you accept my offer, I will replace that chain with one made of beskar.”

You shook your head, trying to shake away any doubt as to how perfect his gesture could be, “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

“You don’t have to decide now.”

“I would be an honor to be your riduur.”

“Really?” He asked, sounding genuinely surprised. “You’ve never even seen my face and you’re willing to marry me?”

You reached a hand out to rest on his helmet, just where it curved inwards where his cheek should be, “I know that I love the heart of the man behind this armor and I know what you feel like without it in the dark. I am willing to marry you without knowing what you look like beneath that helmet because I know I love you regardless.”

Din’s hand came to press against yours, holding it against his helmet. Inside, his face was pressed against the interior, wishing he could feel more than just mere knowledge that your hand was there. He wished he could feel your skin against his again. “When we are bound in riduurok, I can finally remove my helmet for you and for you alone.”

Your heart picked up with excitement, “You mean I can really see your face one day?”

His helmet nodded up and down.

“I can’t wait to look you in the eye and kiss you one day.” You closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against the beskar shielding Din’s face but he was mirroring the action beneath. A smile crept up on your lips and you handed him back the necklace, “Would you mind?”

He reached around your neck and clasped the necklace together, pulling your hair gently to lay over the thin metal cord. “How’s it look?” You asked, straightening out the pearl over your chest.

“Like it was meant to be there.”

His arm fell to rest comfortable behind your back and you leaned over to rest your head on his shoulder. It was uncomfortable from the beskar that pressed hard into your cheek but you would still rest like that for the rest of time and then some if it meant you could be with Din. Grogu sat between you, a tiny leg on each of your legs and your hand pressing against his stomach gently to keep him from falling forward.

When he startled wiggling around in your grasp, making tiny grunts of effort, it drew both yours and Din’s attention down to see what the kid was doing. He twisted to face your stomach, your hand now firmly keeping him from tumbling backwards. Neither you or Din were sure quite how much of your language he understood but it would have appeared that he somehow understood that there was now a new addition to your clan because his small three-fingered hand stretched out to rest against your lower belly and he closed his eyes, leaning back into your hand slightly.

At first, you thought he was just trying to feel for the baby, which of course was far from being large enough at this stage to feel, especially from the outside. “Hey, hey! What’re you doing?” Din asked, not angrily but definitely concerned for what Grogu could be doing to the new baby. Though he wasn't a malicious child, Din had seen him choke Cara with the Force once before and he couldn't be sure what was going on within your womb from the outside. All he knew was that the kid was definitely using the Force.

Grogu kept his eyes shut, ignoring his father, but a look of contentment spread over his face. That was when you felt it. You weren't even quite sure what it was that you were feeling but it felt positive, like an awareness of the life inside you that had been previously unbeknownst. It was more than that though. You could feel your connection to it and, though you knew it sounded absolutely insane, you could have sworn you could feel Grogu connecting to the fetus as well.

Din made a move to lift the child from your lap but you put your hand on his forearm to stop him, “Wait, it’s alright.” You nodded in reassurance, looking down to Grogu. “Can you feel them?”

Grogu reached out his other hand for Din’s, his entire hand only able to wrap around a single gloved finger. That was when Din felt it too. Again, it was a sensation he couldn’t describe. It was almost like an awareness of life but it was clearly emanating from within your womb. Grogu was merely acting as a bridge for Din.

“Do you feel it too?” You asked, looking up at Din.

Beneath his helmet, his mouth was agape as he struggled to process the feeling of life and light that seemed to radiate from where his body met Grogu’s and that his mind was able to just innately comprehend that this was the life you and he had created. “Yeah, I feel it.” He breathed out in amazement. “Is that the baby?” Din asked, the idea sounding preposterous but at the same time he had no idea of the capabilities of this new thing he’d learned of called the Force. He didn’t know the limits of Grogu’s power or his connection to it.

Grogu’s hands fell from both your stomach and Din’s hand as he flopped onto his butt on your knee with an exhausted plop. Nevertheless, his disproportionate green ears wiggled happily and the rosiness in his cheeks made you fairly certain the answer was yes.

Your hand came to cover where Grogu’s hand had just been, no longer feeling that same light feeling you had when he was touching you. Din no longer felt that connection either since Grogu sat down. “I don’t know what that was but it was kind of amazing.” You let out a breathy chuckle, “We’re going to be an actual family. Can you believe it, Din?”

“Y’know, deep down, I think a part of me always wanted to have a family. A riduur and a youngling all of my own. I just got so used to being alone that I didn’t think I would ever find someone I’d want that with. But now I have you and Grogu and,” his hand came around your front to gently rest on your stomach, “this. I promise you that I will care for you and protect you both until the day you give birth and every day after.”

You lifted your hand to Din’s helmet, gently turning him to face you, “Trillions of men in this universe and I got lucky enough to find you.” Grogu squealed in your lap and you laughed, stroking his ears, “And you.” Your hand dropped to Din’s lap and you laid your head against his chest plate, “I love you, Din. I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together.”

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a-life-lesson-in-submission · 3 years ago

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Inside a Submissives Soul

Dear Diary -

Nearly 2 weeks had gone by before Sir and I were able to meet. Life really does get in the way of things at times, it was really tough, especially when most of my thoughts are filled with him. The days can seem to pass ever so slowly even when I keep myself busy.

Along side that some discussions we should have had in the beginning had been missed, I didn't realise he had another submissive and I freaked, my thoughts filled with anger and upset, anxiety hit me hard and I spent most of my weekend bombarding him with questions in the messages we were exchanging.

I realise in this world, freedom to explore is important and I don't have anything against that or him having another submissive but it really hit home, there was a feeling of being second best, whether that is me or the other submissive. It's not like I didn't know of the other submissive, he had talked about her before but it wasn't clear there was actually a relationship there as I thought it was when he went to clubs to explore and teach.

Anyhow, I did found myself calming when I looked at it from a kink world perspective and I know in my heart Sir would never deliberately withhold information from me or hurt me intentionally emotionally, mentally or physically, (playing doesn't count, that's different, even then, he is observant and mindful with checking in on the wellbeing of others). Excitement overpowered sensibility, we're only human. Now I know more about his other submissive and it's been a long term relationship, I am more than relieved and clear in how their relationship works. I hope I get to meet her one day.

I also feel better at knowing where Sir and I stand in our relationship with his needs, his outlets and his exploration of this world. I accept him and his ways, he has proven he cares in a number of ways. Something that is quite significant was his apology, there is a rule that apologies and sorry's aren't necessary in this world unless it's under certain circumstances. We are who we are, we don't have to explain ourselves and feel we should be cautious in the way we present ourselves to others etc. Nevertheless, he apologised, I felt it was a deep apology and he took complete responsibility for what was missed that should have been made clear at the beginning. With that I apologised too because I am responsible for myself, as much as he knew I was trying to absolve him of some of the burden, he was clear that I shouldn't be the one to apologise. I saw a side to him I wasn't sure I ever would, he has a vulnerable and sensitive side like the rest of us and it is ever so precious.

Our meet was to clarify things and for me to ask questions but there weren't many I had left by this point because most answers fall in line with other questions I have asked.

He picked me up and we went to our spot, he was prepared for us to stay in our seats to maintain a respectful distance if I felt I needed it but I was happy to cuddle and talk. Moving into the back, I took my boots off to feel more comfortable when we sat.

During this time he kept me close, we planted gentle kisses here and there, kept ourselves tight together whilst we chatted about what was needed although I went blank again, as per usual, but I felt satisfied and content the entire time with his responses. He gripped me with something he had said, the grip where you get the lump in your throat borderlining tears. I also couldn't ignore the fact my burning ache was present, I could feel my pressure, and his, with me straddled over him as we were embraced.

Once we reached a point where we were happy, Sir said for me to get up onto the bed, I pulled my socks off leaving them on the seat, climbed up, he followed. We got close, me laid on my back, him over me, he said "Hello Pretty", I responded "Hello Handsome", our lips met. Holding me, he rolled onto his back so I ended up ontop, kisses becoming more passionate, I wanted him badly. My top came off, followed by my bra when the clasp had finished testing him. I adjusted so he could take one of my girls buttons in his mouth, the other pinched and tweaked between his fingers and thumb, my breathing deepened immediately, he alternated between them, my gasps became light breathless moans, our crotches pressing, almost grinding against eachother. His soft instruction to remove my leggings, I had to fight to get them off, 'sexy' he said in a joking manner to which I couldn't help but laugh. Back ontop in just my thong, his hands wandering over my body, the thong was the final thing to come off, as I removed it he unbuckled and removed his lot. Laid at the side of him, he took my hand and rested it over his boys. I can't remember what he said but I had said the day before about holding them that my actions depended very much on his words so choose them wisely.

I gave them a gentle squeeze, groping at them softly and then his member, rock solid, my mind instantly 'mmmm yes please'. He pulled me back ontop of him, both of us moist, already self lubricated, teasing him over my holes for moments that felt heavenly before he said to put him inside me. Heaven opened it's doors once again as he eased into me, filling me to the brim, I could feel myself blurring, the aching intensifying. Our bodies so close, I'm already on the edge as our lips dropped me into an abyss of wonder, long and wonderous. He tells me "your so fucking tight" and to "slow down", I am thrilled he enjoys me so much. I was ready and with his gentle yet firm tone... "cum"... and I did... my release echoed through me, shaking me to my core, the tremor through my body left me tingling, he tells me he is about to release too and does.

Our rhythm slows, grinning, still close we begin to part naturally, I 'eek', he is amused and complimented by the sounds that escape my lips when we play. It's all him, I'm still fairly quiet, I don't want to burst his ear drums and I'm still quite self conscious. I move off him and to the side, both somewhat spent for a moment or two. He then moves to get assistance to cleanse our bodies from our moisture. I always twitch and tense, he always chuckles in response. We lay for a while, resting together, some lighthearted chatting, he gives me a tap on my peach, I say 'oooo do it again', I am rolled on my front and spanking commences. I needed it, it felt like it'd been so long. Between the sounds and the sensations, he would change the impact levels followed with sensual caresses and touches, I felt my body rise and lower in response, my breathing felt deep and heavy. It's an amazing feeling, his fingers glide over my sensitives, before long they enter me, both holes have his attention, he spanks me every now and again, I want to release again, it's there I can feel it.

We are rudely interrupted, the alarm sounds but it doesn't stop him straight away, he continues for a while before he has to bring everything to a reluctant stop. Damn life's demands! Back to reality we go, it's time to get dressed but my legs are jelly and my body is fighting against me. He teases me here and there, I warn him I will hide his keys and he will have to explain why he is not just late but very late. Better luck next time hopefully.

Dropping me off, a kiss goodbye for now and him expecting me to walk across the road, he seems disappointed as I am going the opposite way today, again... better luck next time...

I am itching to explore things, I am wondering when Sir is going to make a start with me on various interests I feel I have and be open to try. I'm eager I know, I also know I need to be patient, there is so much for us to build on. I guess I will find out sooner or later.

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ingeniouscollectionthing · 5 years ago

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He noticed (Tom Riddle x Reader)

Request: Could you write something for Tom where his reader best friend (who he's in love with) has a very dark and hurtful past and tends to isolate and disappear sometimes to cope with it. She also gets really insecure and feels unloved and he kind of spies on her for a while till he finds out the truth and makes her feel better? :)

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Warnings: Depression, insecureness, a bit sad but fluffy

It was one of those days. Your head too heavy, goosebumps constantly prickling your skin. Voices in your ears. Pictures in your head. Frown etched onto your pale face. It was one of those days. Dark clouds hanging in the sky, icy wind waving through sad trees. Thick, angry raindrops splattering against the castle walls.

You’re useless.

You’re a burden.

You’re a disgrace.

Sighing, you dropped your head into your hands, the breakfast in front of you not looking appealing anymore. Pain, similar to the buzzing and cracking of a broken record player, filled it, caused by the resounding words of your despicable mother.

You’re ugly.

You’re a noone.

You’re worthless.

No one can love you…

Lost in the dark forest that is your mind, you didn’t notice how your best friend sat down directly beside you. You didn’t notice that he watched you for a few good minutes. You didn’t notice how the seemingly emotionless Tom Riddle felt an, for him indescribable, feeling of dread and sadness, watching as you pulled hard on the tussled tresses of your hair, which has lost its shine a few weeks ago. As you finally realized he was here, you gave him a weak smile.

Tom noticed that it didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Good morning, Tom��, you said, turning back to your still full plate. “Did you sleep well?”

“Of course. Did you?”, he asked back, watching you closely.

“The best I’ve slept in days, really”. You hadn’t slept in days. And if you could fall asleep, nightmares plagued your mind, not stopping until your eyes opened and starred coldly at the ceiling – again. Tom narrowed his eyes and for a second you thought he believed you, as he finally turned to his plate to fill it with food. He didn’t notice you lied.

But in fact, he did. He noticed.

You both talked a little bit until the bell rang, signalling the start of your first lesson.

“Are you coming?”, Tom asked, his things neatly packed into his bag, his hand waiting to be taken by yours.

You refused.

“You can go, I’ll catch you up, don’t worry”, you said silently, never meeting his eyes.

Tom frowned, but didn’t pressure you. You’ll catch up.

As he finally sat down in class, he waited patiently for the seat next to him to be filled with your presence. Instead, a strange smell reached his nose, as another girl sat down by his side, trying to talk to him. He ignored her. You weren’t here.

And he noticed. Why wouldn’t he?

Meanwhile, you wandered around the castle slowly. Your stomach was empty, your heart was numb. As always your feet brought you to the room of requirement, your safe haven. You sat down by the windowsill.

You starred out of the window and imagined how the seasons would pass by. The birch, which branches protruded over the window, was still bearing green leaves, soon colder air would make them turn into different colours, before they would finally disappear completely. The Wood of the floor made a creaking sound as your feet completely left the ground to stretch your legs out on the dusted ledge. You blinked. Where did spring go?

Your thoughts were too loud. Too loud for your head - too quiet for this world to hear. You wanted to be happy, you wanted the world to make sense. But it didn't. Every day followed the next miserably. We were all exposed to the relentless noose of time, society, universe.

You still functioned. You noticed that. You know you didn’t do anything wrong, and yet you feel lost. Eternities shrank to seconds and suddenly, the future fell into your lap. Everything’s spinning, this time the swirl is not against you, but you let yourself get carried away, embraced it like an old friend and didn't think. That's it. Thoughts. It's the thoughts. You looked down at yourself. Touched your arm, your fingers. Your body was there, but where were you?

Your thoughts were like a cloud. It followed you and enveloped you. Clouded your vision, blackened your day. Sometimes it could be suppressed, but always returned.

“There you are”, a familiar voice said.

Tom.

“What are you doing here, Tom? You’ll miss your lesson”, your hands shook.

“I could ask you the same”, he merely replied, taking a seat beside you on the window sill.

It‘s scary. This matt, dull carpet of thoughts that removed all colours from life and turned off the sound of feelings.

“I noticed, you know”, Tom whispered, not daring to destroy the silence. You gave him a questioning look.

“I noticed, how you always lie about your wellbeing. About your sleep. I noticed, how your lips got chapped by biting them too much. I noticed, that your nails don’t grow anymore because you always bite on them out of habit. I noticed, that you got thinner, because you refuse to eat. I noticed, that your lovely eyes lost their spark. I noticed, how your hair lost its shine. I noticed, how you feel. However I don’t know why”.

Everyone has their limits.

If it is enough, then it is enough.

And if you can't do it anymore, you simply can't do it anymore.

And there it was, the moment bound to happen. You broke.

“They tear and they pull… but I'm not moving…it hurts! Do you understand?! I don’t think so.. I don’t understand… I defend myself until I can no longer stand! They,.. yes they…made me who I am…Not enough, don't you understand?! I am like this because of them! They made me like this… I think… I feel… And yet – and yet I'm not that what they want me to be. Not smart enough, traditional enough, elegant and womanly enough. Not good enough, not beautiful enough… shame of the family… They don't love me and yet, they still don't let me pull away! I want to go! stand on my own two feet! Live happily, but they won't let go. I need to sit down, behave myself… I’m their daughter… don't you understand?! I don’t! A girl of my family status.. I need to be proud and act as they want me to. Enough! It hurts! Everything’s full with pain and blood and they keep on doing this again and again and again…until there is nothing left”.

Cold hands engulfed your face, two soft thumbs wiped away the thick tears escaping your eyes. Tom was hurt. He felt the pain you felt deep in his chest, and yet an aura of anger trapped his heart in hatred for your family. For the first time since weeks, you met his eyes.

“You are enough, you always have been. No matter what your thoughts tell you, whispering in dark grey corners of your mind, in absent, bleak moments – you're not alone. Everyone wonders at some point. If you are enough. If there is enough, if you get enough. We all think about it. But I want to tell you - for me you are enough. You give me so many things you don't think you have enough of. Happiness. And love. You are enough with all your pearl-clear tears that you shed in fear, you are enough with your strange sense of humour that fits so strangely to mine. I'm just me. And you’re you. You do everything humanly possible to show me that I am enough, yet you are the one still fearing you are not. Just enough. No more, no less. Could you imagine, if at some point we both thought we could no longer be enough for each other, if we both broke by silently screaming at not having the other one, what then?”

A tear left his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. Because of you.

“Enough is all I need and want from you.”, his voice cracked.

“Your closeness, which has become as vital to me as the air I breath, and you being by my side, the ground under my feet and my light in the dark – only you, are like a fire that burns – that burns brightly, so I can warm myself. And yet you are still worried about what it would do to yourself. Even if you don’t have to be. Merlin (Y/N), could a tragedy be more beautiful? Let me ask you – if you wouldn’t be enough and if I wouldn’t be enough, would we both stick to watching the other pitifully as we lost ourselves and each other? God, that would be a terrible feeling - believe it – then your own existence would be inferior. Your heart, young and beating strongly, is longingly and desperately looking for a response and recognition. And while I respond to you, while I recognize you for who you are, isn't it about being enough for yourself first? I recognize your value in this world, I accept the value you hold for me. So why can’t you?”.

Cold lips met yours. Gently, slowly, moving in a soft rhythm. Arms engulfed you and warmth spread throughout your body, taking the goosebumps and shivering away. And for the first time since forever, you felt home.

And all, because he noticed.

#tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x you #tom riddle imagine #tom riddle imagines #tom riddle fluff #voldemort #voldemort x reader #young voldemort x reader #lord voldemord #young voldemort #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter fluff #harry potter x reader

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years ago

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Sorry for not responding sooner!! Today's been a busy day at school today. But yay! At least you're doing what you can for the moment. I'm glad that homework is something that can calm you down

Do you want me to start reminding you to eat? Just like, a small sentence once a day (I can't say I'll remember all the time but you really should be eating)

But yeah that sounds incredibly stressful, I can't say that I know how to drive but!! The idea of it and everything goin by quickly is making me somewhat anxious about it, but it looks fun.

I don't remember what else was said but!! I hope that you're doing ok!!

Also being pretty whole crying is amazing, I can't say the same about me XD

-Heathen

heathen! hello! you have nothing to apologize for, don't worry. I'm always gonna be here and you aren't required to interact with me in any capacity. And school should probably take priority over perusing the internet most of the time--although my opinions on that are likely a little skewed because my school doesn't really have a phone policy (that's how I've been able to post in the middle of class while also sitting five feet away from the teacher) and I'm only there for one period...

and huh. I guess I never thought of it before, but homework does calm me down in a way! Doing homework is better than having homework I'm not doing, because then I'm constantly thinking about how I should be doing the work. And I am okay now! I am fortunate enough that my meltdowns and similar things are intense but brief. Once I get through it I'm through it and it doesn't really linger!

tw: mentions of skipping meals accidentally. scroll to the big text to skip.

for the eating thing: you absolutely don't have to. I'm not gonna tell you not to, but please don't feel pressured to remind me or anything. I do have alarms/notifications set for meal times, but sometimes those don't register in my mind and I still forget. But my health and wellbeing aren't your responsibility, so please don't take it upon yourself to do anything that will stress you out or that you don't want to do. And I do eat! usually at least. I never intentionally skip meals, so don't worry about me there! A lot of the times I'm in the middle of something when I get my set notifications and go "ah I'll do that in a minute" and then don't.

tw over

the driving thing was less stressful and more me laughing at myself! I wasn't worried about anything happening, and I know the route really well now; I drive it four times a week (I have an appointment every monday so that's why it's not five). But there were definitely moments where I was like hmm I need to be careful because I'm not the safest driver I could be right now. Was I a danger? No. But obviously I'm gonna be a better driver when I am not crying. Speaking of driving being anxious, I did make a post a little while back about some of the tips I had for people learning how to drive/who were going to learn, so if that would help you at all I can find the post and link it! Because in my experience the official driving schools throw everything at you and once and leave you more on your own to figure out what information you're actually going to need on the road. For example, whether an interstate number is even or odd determines whether is north-south or east-west and was a question on the written test, but I've never needed that info in practice and i take the interstate every day!

though I think the most fun thing about it is just the freedom. as someone with anxiety a lot of times I worried about annoying my parents when they'd take me placed because they'd have to drive there and back to transport me. so now we save gas and I feel less anxious about that. and! I get to put my music on and vibe the whole way there! I will say refrain from podcasts until you're more confident in your route because otherwise you'll be too focused on the road and miss the things they're saying.

nothing else really important was said! I gave a few details about what had stressed me out and that was it. I probably used a lot of exclamation marks too--I should really stop doing that.

and thanks, I happen to think I'm very pretty all of the time, so I'm biased. I think I actually still have a photo of me up on my blog rn (usually I delete them after a week or two but this one I didn't). update! found it! here's the link to that post. wait what was my point again? oh, right. I have an abundance of self-confidence and generally think I'm pretty all the time, including when I'm crying. Highly recommend loving your appearance!! It's very fun.

I'm planning to dye my hair this weekend so that's undoubtedly gonna result in me taking more pictures

#i just!! agh!!#i'll probably cut my hair again #I cut it myself last time and I don't like talking to hairdressers or stylists or whatever they're called #so I'll probably do it myself to avoid that #I don't recommend doing that if you care specifically about your appearance #I do it because I think I always look great and don't care if I fuck it up #so if you do care be careful!#this post has gotten so far away from me #we were talking about something else #oh right my meltdown #I am better now! I'm doing good!#can't change anything that happened so I'm gonna try not to think about it #there's this weird thing I can do sometimes where I can intentionally forget something #and like i'm aware it exists and that I've forgotten it #but I don't know what it is #I have a couple memories like that that I know I'll never recover #so maybe I could do the same thing with this #random #quil's queries #heathen nonsie #my hair is so faded right now I'm very excited to dye it again

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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years ago

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Box Boy Worldbuilding: Training

I had a request to put together the phrases I’ve mentioned Box Boys memorizing/being forced to memorize and training references from my fics! This won’t be an exhaustive list, I’ll be adding as I find/remember things I’ve mentioned. Feel free to message me any memorized phrases, training specifics, or anything else from other BBU fics I’ve missed or that appear in your own fics that I don’t use, and leave a username so I can properly tag!

As always, a disclaimer: The Box Boy concept belongs to @sweetwhumpandhellacomf and was popularized by a variety of bloggers including @shameless-whumper and more. Nothing listed here is set in stone. Your Box Boy and/or Box Babe stories belong to you! It’s a sandbox and you can build that castle anyway you want.

Discard all of this or use any of it as you want or it fits your story. I’m just playing around with ideas, and people have asked me to kind of put some of this stuff together as reference material!

Memorized Phrases:

“You signed up for this.” - @shameless-whumper

“The owner is safe. You love the owner. You will do whatever the owner wants.”

“All pets are of legal consenting age and make a choice to pursue a change of circumstances including no longer retaining legal ownership of themselves.”

“I am an active participant in fulfilling my owner’s desires.” (Romantic or Combination only)

“The owner’s touch is safe, whoever they are.”

“I want to be touched. I want this. I want you.” (Romantic or Combination only)

“All merchandise is acquired through fully legal channels.” - @shameless-whumper

“Discipline is a necessary and humane event ensuring the continued obedience and wellbeing of a pet.” - @shameless-whumper

“I am a weapon and a toy. I exist to obey and protect my owner(s).” - @redwingedwhump

“The process of training is intensive and can have residual effects including sudden but brief loss of consciousness when resetting to a product’s default state.”

Designations:

- Domestic - household servant, includes cleaning, cooking, organization, and household management training. Cooking training covers basics unless specific cuisines or skills are required. In my stories, Dex, Sebastian, and Peter are all trained Domestics with different specializations. Positions 1-25 included. A domestic is trained to be loyal and obedient to their owner but will have no particular affection or love for them unless customized in the request.

- Platonic / Caregiver - Designed to act as a companion or caregiver to someone within a household. Often used as a kind of limited home health aide. Custom training available to match specific healthcare needs. Also wonderful as a kind of companion for elderly or isolated persons. Positions 1-25 included. Conditioned to be affectionate and loyal.

- Romantic - Designed to substitute for a physical or romantic relationship. Trainee is taught to physically service the needs of their owner and conditioned to become loyal, attracted, and completely devoted to their owner. Romantics have the lowest success rate for runaways and often return to their owners within three months or less of leaving. Positions 1-25 included, with an extra 10 “Romantic-specific” positions available, each with an added fee.

- Combination - Any combination of these. A Companion and Romantic are similar but not exactly the same, so if you ordered a Romantic who would still need to know certain home healthcare skills, they would be a Combination. Or a Domestic who would also perform Romantic duties would be considered a Combination.

- Guard Dog - see @redwingedwhump‘s Guard Dog David and @moose-teeth‘s Daniel Brennan/B The Guard Dog (Moose really did the development on the Guard Dogs here - please send her asks with any questions!) often exists under the Combination Designation and performs bodyguard duties and other duties as required by their owners. Fighting training, targeted aggression, and very specialized and single-target loyalty is part of training here. Basic positions included. Guard Dogs will be extremely loyal to designated ‘safe’ people (owners) and will regard nearly everyone else as suspicious and untrustworthy/potentially dangerous.

SEE HARO-WHUMP’S LIST OF BOX BOY POSITIONS HERE

Referenced Training Specifics:

- Box Boys/Babes are trained to be afraid to see their own contracts - they get shaky/panicked even just looking at them after the signing date (Kauri)

- Read @shameless-whumper‘s the The Host’s Discipline Tutorial for a great run-through on disciplinary techniques Box Boys are taught to respond to

- Disciplinary methods in the Facility include black batons wielded by Handlers that have an optional electric shock component for a minimum of permanent scarring or injury with maximum pain infliction

- Food in the Facility includes ‘nutrient loaf’ and ‘nutrient shakes’. The loaf is largely flavorless and the shakes are “chocolate”, but it’s mostly chalky and disgusting. Has been referred to as tasting like someone described chocolate to an alien, but poorly. Keeps Box Boys from descending into total malnourishment while still not quite fully satisfying nutritional requirements. Teaches Box Boys to be even more grateful for food with real flavor once they’re with their owners.

- Memorization is a big part of conditioning, a memorized series of phrases and rules that become second-nature to recite if asked anything pertaining to them (Trainee Peter (435698), for instance, despite being underage, insisting that he’s eighteen again and again when Todd questions him)

- Incorrect thoughts or aberrations: defiant, rebellious thoughts or memories that come back that aren’t allowed

- Trainees may develop different responses to their repressed memories. Kauri has a vasovagal response to seeing his own face or trying to remember his real name - he has a sudden precipitous drop in blood pressure and passes out. Dex very occasionally has a kind of seizure called a nonepileptic seizure that is not caused by a physical mechanism but by repressed memories attempting to be recovered.

- Attempts to remember things they aren’t allowed to, or to think too heavily about where they might have come from - and often even attempts to clearly remember the Facility and the training they underwent there - result in a sharp, agonizing pain and headache that can last a long time or even result in unconsciousness, and a feeling of “fog” taking over. - @shameless-whumper

- Romantic designation training can include bringing in outside contractors if their skills are needed to help the trainee meet the standard the prospect owner requires - @redwingedwhump

- Trainees are usually trained with shock collars, but prospective owners may specify that they don’t want shock training included for their pet

- Trainees are drugged as part of inducing memory loss and making them more suggestible/compliant

- Trainees rarely directly interact

- Training takes anywhere from a few months to years depending on how quickly the trainee learns and what a buyer has ordered. - @shameless-whumper

- Pets are purposefully made to be unable to exist as free humans, or are at least told that they can no longer live on their own and that they would be miserable, lonely, and likely end up injured, starving, or worse.

- Some owners may specify that they do not want their pets to be able to read or write. Most pets will read more slowly post-training as a side effect regardless, but not all. Pets can also be specifically trained for complicated work, if needed.

- What an owner does with a human pet after the three-month return period is up is their own prerogative. Whumpees-R-Us takes no legal responsibility for the actions of any pet while under their owner’s care.

- Any trainee that has had a direct interaction with Karen Renford is terrified of her

- Every pet is terrified of being sent back for “refurbishment” more than anything else - @shameless-whumper

- Box Boys are taught not to admit if they recognize or remember each other from training - @shameless-whumper

- Hearing the word ‘respect’ will often result in the Box Boy, even those who are freed or who ran away, dropping to their knees and touching their forehead to the floor automatically

- Box Boys move through positions instantly without even a conscious thought, due to repeated positions training that ingrains the movements into their minds even deeper than conscious thought ( @deluxewhump)

#box boy #box boy universe #worldbuilding #please message me anything that needs added this is just a start #box boy multiverse

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spotofimagines · 5 years ago

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Unveiling A Secret ~ Isaiah Jesus

A/N: This was going to be something completely different but when I started writing it turned into this so I’m gonna write a part 3 and maybe even a part 4, who knows. I didn’t want it to be too long so I split it up. I’ve got a harry potter request I’m working on next and I’ll start on part 3 after that, but I’m slow at writing so idk how long it will take me. Hope you enjoy!

Requested by: broadwayblinder and a couple others

Warnings: pregnancy, marriage

Summary: Before your secret comes out, there’s an important person who needs to know, but will their reaction change your future plans?

Part 1(Keeping A Secret) - Part 3(No Longer A Secret)

Tommy now knew about your secret and, true to his word, had managed to keep it just that. A secret.

You knew he hadn’t told anyone by the way Finn still offered you and Isaiah your doses of Tokyo, which at this point was piling up in your bedside drawer since you couldn’t say no to him. You also knew by the way Arthur questioned why Harry wouldn’t serve you drinks at the Garrison anymore. Luckily for you, Tommy formed the story of you simply wanting to maintain your health. Arthur found it peculiar but just shook his head at the way kids were nowadays, unaware that Tommy’s demand to Harry was so you wouldn’t be drinking in secret.

There were plenty of moments when you and Tommy would catch eyes across a table or room after someone’s words and you would see him silently telling you to speed up your process before saving your secret from slipping out. You knew you had to tell the rest of your family at some point but you were so concerned about their reaction that you had tried to hold it off for as long as possible.

That was until Isaiah got fed up of hiding such a big thing from people. It reminded him of when the two of you would sneak around your family when you first started dating, kissing in empty halls and holding hands under tables, and how annoying it was for him not to be able to love you openly like he wanted to.

So he made you a deal; he would tell his father about it - just the two of them - and regardless of his reaction, you would tell your family the day after. Isaiah had been putting off telling his dad as much as you had avoided telling your family because he knew he wasn’t in the situation Jeremiah wanted him to be in. Being the religious man that he is, Isaiah knew it wouldn’t be an easy chat for his dad to have.

However, the deal was done and your promises to reveal your pregnancy had lead you to where you were, leaning against the front of the house next the Isaiah’s and fighting every urge you had to smoke the stress away.

Your feverent thoughts of what you would say to your brothers the next day got interrupted when you heard the handle of Isaiah’s front door twist and open. The two men said their goodbyes and when the door closed Isaiah turned to face you, making you straighten at the way his expression quickly changed from cheerful to exhausted. He started walking in your direction and held his hand out to the side, ready to feel your touch. He responded to the squeeze of your hand and your small smile by letting out a deep huff. “Come on, I need a drink.” He mumbled as he pulled you alongside him down the street.

Your shoulders slumped at his lack of optimism as your feet fell into rhythm walking next to his. “So how did it go?” Your voice was as gentle as you could make it but you couldn’t hide your nervous curiosity. If Jeremiah thought this was bad then you had no hope with Arthur.

“He was …” Isaiah’s hand rubbed the back of his neck before sighing, “disappointed, but not mad, so thats good.” He looked down at you and gave you a quick, weak smile. You could see the trepidation he was trying to hide and you moved your eyes to the end of the street so you wouldn’t get lost in his fear. You expected Isaiah to leave it, to wait until you were alone in the evening and you would push him to talk about it.

But he didn’t. His gaze stayed on you and after a few seconds of thinking, he nudged your arm slightly with his. When you didn’t look back at him, he contemplated not saying anything and letting you stay unaware of the big question on his shoulders. But he couldn’t let the thought mingle in his brain without your help.

“He thinks we should get married.” Your breath hitched in your throat and Isaiah noted the reaction. But he also noted how your hand didn’t grip his any tighter, your shoulders didn’t tense and your feet didn’t fall a second out of place, almost as if he had simply told you the weather forecast for the day.

He waited for a response from you, but when you replied with silence he sighed with frustration. He knew you were scared but he was too, and he needed to know what you thought about things. His dad’s intentions weren’t far from his own - he couldn’t deny having thought about marriage before - and the idea was steadily growing on him. But you were leaving him grasping for straws when all he wanted was a yes or a no, more than content to deal with the outcome of your answer when it came.

So when you crossed the road and got the other side of the street, he pulled you out of the way of passersby and moved you against the wall, making sure your focus was purely on him.

“I mean, it doesn’t sound crazy, does it?” His hands were holding yours, giving you the familiar feel of his comfort despite his tall frame standing over you. His eyebrows furrowed as he studied your face for an answer. “We love each other, right?” “More than anything.” You said instantly, your thumbs rubbing over his knuckles softly. “We’re,” he looked around a second then took a breath, closing the gap between you and said lowly, “we’re having a baby together. Does it not just feel right?”

You looked into each other’s eyes for a minute as you both let his reasoning settle in your mind. You gulped, conflicted as to what to say. You were still young and marriage seemed like such an adult thing, but at the same time you loved Isaiah, you loved him to hell and back, and you just knew deep down that if you didn’t get married now then you’d only be slowing down the inevitable. But still, you couldn’t be sure the timing was right.

“I don’t know Is, maybe, I-” “Come on Y/N!” He cut you off, irritation growing as he rolled his eyes. “What’s stopping you? What’s putting you off?” His voice was louder than it probably should have been, one of his hands leaving yours to shoot out to the side in annoyance. You were used to seeing him blow up in anger, having witnessed him in fights plenty of times, but it was rarely ever targetted it at you and the whole ordeal was pretty unsettling. “It’s ‘cause you’re scared of what your family’s gonna say, innit?” He provoked, staring down at you, waiting for you to tell him he was wrong.

The only thing stopping you from hitting back at him with the same fire was the knowledge that the biggest cause of his outburst was fear. You couldn’t blame him for that, you felt exactly the same, pressured to do what you think would make your family happy whilst making sure the two of you were okay before even considering your own wellbeing. It all piled up and it was starting to burst out of Isaiah.

A breaking point was nearing you too, and simply just thinking about all these fears and worries mixed with Isaiah’s anger was tipping you closer to the edge. You felt tears filling your eyes and you looked at the ground to try and stop them falling down your cheeks. You felt Isaiah’s breath ghost over you as he sighed and lowered his hand back to his side.

“Look, if anything, getting married makes it easier for you to tell people about it,” he tried to give his reasoning, making his voice loud enough for just the two of you as his hands found your waist and subtly slid forward a little to feel your small bump. “And I’m sure my dad would be more than happy to officiate it.” There was a trace of joy in his words and a faint grin forming on his face at the thought. The corners of your mouth moved up at the sight of the radiance in Isaiah’s expressions whilst he looked down at his hands on you, thinking about how your wedding would look with both your families right by your sides.

“It would make Arthur less mad when he finds out, I suppose.” You teased. Isaiah shot his head up to look at you with eyes full of hope. His eyebrows raised as his smile grew. “Yeah?” You breathed out a small laugh and moved your hands up to his jaw softly.

“Well, maybe if you ask me properly, I’ll give you my final answer.” He chuckled quietly and let his forehead fall and rest against yours, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath. “I will,” he took a second before continuing, humming as his hands snaked round your waist, “I’ll make sure of it.” He muttered with bliss-laced words, his head moving into the crook of your neck whilst he pulled you as close to himself as he could get you. You melted into his warm frame and let your nerves out in a shaky breath, but Isaiah’s hands rubbing your back gently comforted you in a way only he could.

The feeling of his lips laying a loving kiss on the curve of your neck gave you the sign that, as much as he loved you and loved being in your arms, your conversation was done or at least on hold for now and all he would want for a while would be your nurturing company to keep him calm.

He kissed the base of your jaw and up to your lips, knowing it would make your sweet laugh play in his ears and soothe his heart from the heavy beating it had gone through in the past few moments. “Come on, I’m going getting that drink.” You nodded and smiled at his tired demand, your hands automatically falling in place together as you once again made you way toward the bar not too far away.

On your short walk, you couldn’t help the smile that graced your lips as you thought of nothing else but the love you felt for the man at your side and the small bump he’d given you. You knew that the future was going to be hard, especially the near future as the prospect of telling your family about your pregnancy still terrified you, but Isaiah’s strong yet tender presence let you be calm and know that even though things would be hard, he would make the ride managable and at times fun.

And sticking to his unspoken promise to keep you entertained during your pregnancy, he returned to join you in his bedroom after supposedly hanging out with Michael for a while, immediately sinking down on one knee. Following a long speech full of loving words, stories, jokes and even an interruption by Jeremiah, a plain silver band found its home on your left hand and somehow, the problems you felt in that same morning got washed away by the overwhelming devotion and commitment you shared with your upcoming life with your new fiance.

#isaiah jesus #isaiah jesus x reader #isaiah jesus imagine #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #jeremiah jesus #thomas shelby #oneshot #my fic #my og post

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hamiltonlindley · 4 years ago

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Building a Resilient Team

Resilience is a shield protecting us from perpetual change, persistent stress, and constant pressures—it leverages our most challenging situations towards our growth. The story of the donkey and the farmer illustrates the power of resilience.

One afternoon, a farmer’s donkey fell into a pit. The creature bellowed for hours as the farmer analyzed how to get his donkey out of the well. He decided the animal was so old that he wasn’t worth retrieving. And the pit was dangerous. So he decided to cover them both up with dirt. He would bury the donkey alive.

The farmer and his friends grabbed shovels and began to throw dirt on the donkey. When the donkey realized the farmer was burying him, he roared horribly. Then, to everyone’s surprise, the donkey calmed down. That donkey must have surrendered to his fate. They kept shoveling.

After loads of dirt down on the donkey, the farmer looked down in the well, expecting to see a layer of soil where his old donkey used to be. But instead, he saw his donkey on top of the fresh dirt. With each shovel of earth, the donkey shook it off and took a step up. Eventually, with enough dirt, the donkey stepped over the edge of the well and trotted off to safety.

Life shovels dirt on us. We can either surrender and get buried alive or shake it off and step up. Each of our struggles is an opportunity. That obstacle may be the way out of your pit of despair. When life shovels dirt on you, or something stinkier, shake it off and take a step up. You can get out of the deepest wells by not giving up.

What does a resilient team look like?

Researchers at Harvard Business School have identified four main elements of resilient teams.

Humility: Can your team ask for and accept help from other team members? Resilient teams admit when a problem is unmanageable and ask for help. They do not conceal their failures but lean into the team for finding solutions.

Resourcefulness: When confronted with difficulties, does your team develop practical and creative answers? Resilient teams bounce from setbacks. They remain focused on outcomes no matter the external conditions.

Candor: Does your team honestly share feedback? Resilient groups vocalize truth to teammates, collectively identifying and solving challenges they face together.

Empathy: Does your team authentically care for teammates in both failure and success? Resilience is a devotion to elevating the team instead of seeking personal recognition. Talk with your employees frequently and actively listen. Help them recognize triggers of stress that are affecting their work and wellbeing. Social support is vital for managing stress among groups. Empathy creates a loyal and committed team. It also teaches us to be present, improves happiness, and cultivates collaboration.

How do I build a resilient team?

Create bonding activities. Your coworkers need to know about each other’s lives outside of work. Without a bond, they will fail to rally around each other in a time of difficulty. When your team lacks a dose of social interaction from the workplace, the leader must keep them feeling that they are a vital part of something greater than themselves. In team meetings, start them off with both a professional and personal update.

Encourage your team to give positive feedback daily, play remote games, or enjoy virtual coffee breaks together. Make sure that they are taking advantage of video calls and chat applications to foster interactions. Share a funny meme daily. Ask a group question of the day to foster discussion about something other than work. People need to know they are not alone.

Encourage collaboration. A resilient team is a supportive network. Reassure your employees that they can rely on each other When an employee is faced with a difficult situation, ask her to think who on the team could help. That will build resilience in both the person seeking help and the worker providing it.

Communicate with certainty. When your team lacks information, they will begin to let anxiety take over. In uncertain times, we can become more anxious and almost obsessed with the unknown. No matter how bad the news is, don’t hide information from your team. People would rather know reality instead of being kept in the dark.

Consistently make your team members feel valued and appreciated. Promote the appreciation of the gifts that each team member brings to your group. Make sure that you compliment each individual for their specific accomplishments. Create a place that celebrates the whole person by paying attention to your workers. Did someone mention a new hobby? Ask them about it. Buy supplies for them. Remind them that you deeply value their contributions.

Reframe your employees’ insecurities

Give a positive spin to the circumstances that frustrate your workers. Help them look at change as an opportunity instead of something to fear. In the book How Great Leaders Think: The Art of Reframing, the author advocates that we should only focus on what we can control. Encourage your employee to spend her energy on concerns within her influence while letting go of things outside of her control.

To reframe our way of seeing a situation, we should ask ourselves whether there is a genuine loss or just guessing an adverse consequence? We cannot get our minds stuck on how things ought to be. Ask ourselves what we can improve for next time. What was within our control and what was not?

Perfectionism is the enemy. Trying to be perfect will erode the resilience of your team. For years, I strived for perfection to hide my shortcomings. I believed that I needed to project an ideal image to dodge criticism. But perfection is unattainable. As my desire for perfection grew, I risked explosion or collapse. It requires a tremendous amount of energy, with no energy left over for a crisis. Your team will be awash in a sea of fear if you expect perfection from them.

A perfectionist is prone to ask himself questions that are reactive and unproductive, for example, “who is at fault for us not outperforming our competition?” To avoid perfectionism as a leader, ask yourself, “What am I missing? What actions might I take?”

The opposite of a resilient team is a fearful team

Fear causes more errors. Rather than use common sense, workers attempt to read their boss’ mind. So the employees drop the ball over and over. Constant criticism has the same effect.

Resilient teams are not fearful. If your team is continuously afraid, it is not resilient. Do you fear making a mistake? A team that isn’t resilient is consistently afraid of reprimands, demotions, or firings. That isn’t an environment that fosters innovation. Fear is an awful motivator. It drives us to make irrational decisions. When we are motivated by fear, we react without thinking things through, lash out in anger, and isolate ourselves. A workplace awash in fear won’t last long. Fear focuses on the short term instead of the long term.

Resilience requires a psychologically safe workplace

To be resilient, we must understand what we cannot control. We need to remain calm to make responsible choices for things we can control. We must stay positive.

To build resilience in the workplace, teams need a psychologically safe atmosphere where the following conditions are met:

Workers trust that supervisors won’t penalize them for individual mistakes – don’t create a tattletale culture.

Employees are held accountable for their good and bad actions.

Teams uplift each individual’s strengths rather than concentrating on their weaknesses.

Workers feel respected so that they raise their hand when something could be improved or is not right.

People are accountable for the organization’s prosperity and share praise.

Teams uplift each individual’s strengths rather than concentrating on their weaknesses.

These qualities are the way a resilient workplace keeps focused on the company’s vision. Resilient teams have the mental toughness to respond to crises. With a resilient group, a catastrophe goes from a volcano to a speed bump.

Conclusion

Building resilience where fear has deep roots takes skilled effort and leadership. Organizational leaders must direct change without rigid solutions. We must master collaborative leadership to sustain our organizations in an increasingly complex, ambiguous, and volatile world.

#resilient #team #team work #business team #growing your team #building your team

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imagine-loki · 5 years ago

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Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 46 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths. RATING: Mature NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Loki did not know how to respond. “Coronation? But...why, you’re not...”

“Yes, your Coronation, and no, I am not dead, clearly.” Laufey walked around the table that separated them and went closer to his son. “Your actions on the battlefield, the manner in which you carried yourself and your tireless striving to better yourself for our realm prove to me that it is time for me to become the first-ever Jotnar king to step down and not die for my son to succeed me. I am old, weary and weak, I do not have the energy and fortitude to continue this role any longer and you are ready. With a child on the way also, you are the future of our realm. A young king is the way forward,” Laufey explained calmly.

“But you…”

“I am tired, my son. I want to live out the last of my days in the wings, watching Jotunheim flourish under you as it never could under me. I want to watch my grandchildren come to be, to rest after so long of carrying the weight of the woes of the realm. The thoughts of spending the last of my life enjoying my grandchildren as they start theirs, nothing could ever give me greater joy. Already two grow within their dams, with Helbindi and his mate, who knows, perhaps even a third to come in the near future. Watching my sons grow from the small little Jotnar learning the ways of the realms, chasing one another with snowballs into men, fathers and in the case of you, Loki, into a King.”

“Father…” Loki could not process what was being said. He knew that his father saw him as his successor and knew the day would come they would discuss such a thing but to hear him speak of such now, when there seemed little reason to consider it, he could not think of a more competent response. “I am without words.” “There is nothing to say. It is decided. I spoke with Arden on your return. I asked him if he thought you were ready, he agrees with me, you are. You are the way forward for our realm, Loki. With a mate such as Ella, you will bring Jotunheim into a new and glorious era.” Loki did not know what to say with regards to that. He felt a pressure on him which made the feeling he had at the prospect of marrying Ella before he got to know her feel like nothing in comparison to the weight he now felt with his father’s words.

“We must, however, prepare for any that would argue such a decision,” Laufey stated.

Loki frowned. “Why…?” “You know how some are with regards to a grandchild of Odin Allfather being heir to our throne but they are the mere few. You heard Kristoff in the throne room yourself, even your own heritage angers some ignorant few,” Laufey thought for a moment. “For this, I think we require another to add their thoughts. When your mate is rested, I wish to speak with you both regarding the matter. She has a way of looking at situations that we do not, she may see something we do not see. She adds so greatly to everything she involves herself in, I feel she would add to this also.”

Loki found himself nodding before even thinking to answer. It was true, Ella would see angles and aspects they could not. She also brought the wealth of knowledge of dealing with the Aesir court, which he knew were often quite vocal with regards contesting Thor’s readiness to rule, he had heard that from both her and from the camp which he had shared with the Aesir through the war. “I will speak with her upon seeing her again. I just need to deal with another matter beforehand.” “What matter is this?” Loki contemplated saying nothing for a moment before deciding to be honest with his father. Inhaling deeply, he readied himself for the reaction that would come. “I insulted her with my actions, not a moment before coming to see you so I wish to find a way to apologise to her for such with a gift before forcing her to be in my presence again.”

Laufey nodded slightly. “Acknowledging your wrongs and apologising for them is an integral part of being a mate. So long as you did nothing too great, it will be easily sorted once more. She cares deeply for you, that is plain to see. Show her that you are remorseful for your actions and all will return to as it should be soon enough.”

Loki frowned. “If I am honest, Father, I genuinely expected you to admonish me.” “For what? Having an argument with your mate?” Laufey laughed at the thought. “Loki, take it from a Jotnar that has had three mates in his life, if you’re not arguing or disagreeing with at least one of them at some stage or another, you are not actually mates. I am not talking about full-blown rows with shouting or such but you will disagree and you will have times where you will not see eye to eye, that is natural, you are living beings with your own thoughts and opinions. What does matter is acknowledging when you are wrong and trying to fix it.” He put his hand on Loki’s shoulder. “Getting her a gift and apologising is what you stated you wished to do and I cannot fault such thoughts, do it and speak with her on this matter.” Loki nodded slightly in agreement. “What do you want from her as a mate?”

His father’s question baffled him slightly. “Sorry?”

“Your mate, what is it you wish to have with her? What sort of a life? How do you see this being in a thousand years or so?” Loki frowned at his father’s words causing Laufey to sigh. “Bertha always was the one I have loved for her knowledge of food and her heart, Farbauti for her kindness, her ability to nurture our home and children, your mother,” Laufey smiled fondly as he thought of Nal. “Norns, she was kindness and intelligence. There was nothing we could not speak about together. My life is enriched by their mere presence. To this day, I think of your mother with only the fondest of memories. When I retire for the evening, I get a sense of happiness knowing Farbauti will tell me of what she has heard since my leaving the throne room today and her ideas for both you and your brother to ready for your respective children. We will speak of how Bertha would be excited and trying to make everything they would have needed and of other matters. But what of you, what do you see as the connection between you and Ella? What makes you happy to see her, what makes you look forward to returning to your rooms later?”

“Well, the child…” “My son, please, please do not tell me that your answer is regarding the child?” Laufey implored, seeing Loki’s face, he sighed. “Loki, if all she is to you is a uterus to carry children and a mind to pick for use as you see fit…” “No, she is not.” Loki was quick to tell his father. It was true, he found himself truly enjoying being around Ella, though if he was honest, he was unsure as to what that was. “It is not like that. I...there is something when I am in her presence, it is like it soothes my mind, this knowledge that she cares so deeply, she was willing to risk her life to remain here because she felt it the right thing to do. She was willing to die for Jotunheim...Her loyalty to duty, it is incredible.” “It is commendable to a fault, but…” “But it's more than that. Her love for Jotunheim, for our home, is incredible, but how she...she knew everything about our realm she could before she ever came, thinking about that alone makes me feel as though she…” Loki thought of the sensation in his stomach in an attempt to explain it. “I cannot put it into words.” “Perhaps it is time to think it over and see if you can. For if you achieve that, you will be better able to embrace what you have and in turn, strengthen and better it. Then perhaps you will not accidentally insult her by making comment on her body changing to grow your child.”

Loki scowled at his father. “I did no such thing.” “Good, do not do that. Take it from one who did, Nal had it that I, the King of the realm was not even allowed on the royal wing, much less my own bed for a week after that.” Loki stared in disbelief at his father. “I was not always the brightest of young men, I learnt more from doing the wrong thing than doing the right, as you can see with regards to my actions in the war. Norns, but I learnt a lesson there.” Loki could not think of an appropriate response. “Go and deal with your mate and discuss what we have spoken about here. With a nod to his father, Loki left, thinking over everything his father said.

He chewed on his father’s words as he left his rooms, thinking of what could make up for how he had insulted Ella as he did so. One thought came to him, so with an idea of what to do and a plan of how to do it, Loki rushed to deal with the situation.

Ella gave her mate a scathing look as he returned to their room. She watched as he cautiously approached her, his demeanour suitably meek as he did so.

“I’m so sorry.” Loki began with those words knowing that they were the least he could say. If she did not listen to them, she would most certainly not listen to anything else he said. “I am so sorry for rubbing your kindness, caring and understanding back in your face as I did. I am sorry I made you feel inferior as a mate, that I put some unrealistic definition of what is masculinity on myself and in doing so, insulted us both. There is no shame in being comforted by a mate, it is one of the reasons we choose mates as we do. You sought to care for my wellbeing and I threw it back at you so callously. I am sorry, Ella.” He noted the harshness in her features become less cold. He walked over, showing her what was in his hands, a significantly sized peculiarly shaped piece of ice. “I got you this, as an apology, but also because I saw it before I left for the war and genuinely thought you would like it.” She took the ice from him and looked at him for a moment. “Wait and watch,” he smiled.

Ella did as he requested, noting that the ice was incredibly thin and was melting quickly. She watched as it revealed its contents to her. “I…” She touched it. “It’s cold?” “It is not diamond, but permanent ice. It cannot melt, even on realms outside of this.” Loki explained. “It is not very common, we rarely mine it as it is a very difficult to source ice and it tends to not really be used for much since the realm is cold enough to simply use the ice around us, but…”

“It’s beautiful.”

Loki took the necklace and tied it around her neck before looking at her again. “It suits you.” “Thank you.” The tension remained between them for a moment, Loki unsure of if he should say anything more. “And thank you for your apology.” She gave him a small smile. “I know males have a skewed ideas of masculinity but you are not any less of a man for finding my shoulder comfortable and for getting startled at waking in your bed and not on a makeshift one on a battlefield, these are normal and entirely understandable. I cannot say I fully comprehend what you have endured, Loki, but I do understand enough to know you are tired, in body and mind and the least I can do is let you rest comfortably.”

Loki felt himself feel more guilty for his actions when he woke. He could see all she wanted was to be there in any manner she could for him. “I apologise again. I...are you alright?” Loki looked worriedly at Ella, stepping forward slightly as she froze, her hand halfway to her stomach.

“I...I think…” She took his hand and placed it to her side. “He moved…” Loki did not know what to say or think, he simply waited. For a solid minute, he kept his hand where Ella had placed it but there was no movement, feeling disheartened, he went to take his hand away but Ella stopped him. “It does not…” The words were taken from him as he felt a slight nudge against his hand, almost too faint to feel. “Is that..?” Another little nudge went against his hand.

“I think someone is reacting to you,” Ella smiled.

“It is not so simple.” “He waited for you to speak to move again,” Ella countered. “It is the first time I have felt movement, he waited for your return.” She looked down to where his hand remained on her stomach. “It’s so peculiar.”

“I do not think he realises such things as my being gone and here.” “It is entirely possible. On your return, my seidr would have surged slightly with my being happy and relieved about it so he would have sensed that if he has any seidr of his own, meaning he would realise it in some manner and my seidr reacting to you being close by, it’s not entirely impossible, pending his seidr’s strength, lest we forget that I caused my own mother to go into premature labour from the force of my own, he could very well sense it.” Loki felt his throat tighten slightly at her words. Not because of their son reacting, which was incredible in itself, but her admitting her seidr would react to her joy at him being back. He thought of when he left in the past to go to different parts of the realm on matters for different reasons, none he had shared his time with before Ella seemed to react as she had on his return, even Angrboða , who he had thought had loved him, seemed to be happy that her amusement had returned more than she was happy to see him. Ella admitting that she was so happy to see him that her seidr reacted to his return. He looked into her eyes to see that her words were genuine. He swallowed. “Thank you.” “Don’t cry. Your reputation is already in tatters because you showed some form of emotion already today.”

Though her voice was sarcastic, there was no denying that her eyes showed the words were in jest.

Loki did not even think about what he was doing as he chuckled before cupping her face with the hand that was not holding her stomach where their son had kicked, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to hers.

Ella was unsure of what to say or do. She knew that the act was one of deep caring and love in Jotnar mates, she never expected Loki to do such a thing, taking her completely by surprise as he sighed contently as he remained still.

#Loki #other #submission #Submitted fic #wolfpawn #chapter 46 #Pride and Prejudice

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weirdo-with-a-nametag · 4 years ago

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This is a vent, basically. No obligation to read, at all.

So, this was today:

I had to help my mom move furniture for hours, got woken up early to do that, ripped my new pants on a nail helping her, pulled a muscle in my arm, messed up my hips, and then spent hours with my housemate and her boyfriend trying to donate blood, but we weren't able to, and then had to buy gas because neither of them had money to pay for the gas for this thing they wanted to do.

Came home, sat down to do the homework I've been putting off to do chores, and was called into the kitchen because my grandma wanted help with the green beans for dinner. went back to my room to break them, did that, interrupted several times for taking too long. Nana decided to cook the meatballs I got specifically so that I could try them, so I was like ok that's fine just let me cook them.

Cooked meatballs. Constant contact with my grandma, at my limit, exhausted. Everyone walked away so I guess the green beans are on me also?

Housemate texts me:

> Do I smell sausage?

< No it's meatballs.

> I want sausage

< Ok

> Can you make me sausage?

< I'm cooking the meatballs, and the green beans, and I'm already past my limits today. can you come make it yourself?

> I don't know how

< Pan, oil, sausage. I can help, just can't make it myself. Or, you can try the meatballs

> Ok I'll try them.

She comes down, decides meatballs are good enough. Adds to the noise of the kitchen, brings Nana back in to ask about cutting boards. Then she's standing here, cutting apples, and I'm humming along to my music to deal with the noise and exhaustion. Nana is talking at me.

Housemate asks me to stop humming, for the umpteenth time today, because she has a migraine. I stop, and tears collect in my eyes involuntarily because everything is way too much. I freeze in my chair, watching my green beans burn, until she leaves and I can hum again.

Cooking green beans. Nana comes back, asks me how I'm gonna cook the noodles. I didn't know I was cooking the noodles. Now I'm cooking all of dinner? Call my mom to figure out what she was doing with the noodles, she doesn't have a plan, so I've got to come up with a sauce for them to go with the green bean sauce and the meatballs. Great.

Nana keeps coming back like what're you doing with the noodles? What're you doing with the green beans? I'm going to bed. No, I'm back, can we eat yet?

Tell her I'm not sure what I'm doing with the noodles yet, and my mom appears and takes some of the (unseasoned) noodles and (unfinished) green beans, which prompts Nana to try and get some, too. I tell her it's not done yet, and mom gets involved for some reason (trying to back me up, I think. But she just makes conflict with Nana) and Nana gets agitated.

Nana says she's not even hungry, she's gonna go to bed. I'm like. Fine go to bed. It's not like I've been cooking for an hour because you decided it was on me to cook your food?

She comes back, says she's "just frustrated we can't eat yet" and I do not respond. How do I respond to that. Encourage her to eat something. She takes the food I haven't finished cooking and goes off to bed.

I am now cooking a dinner that no one wants, with my broken down body and even less energy for the studying I have to do before class tomorrow.

But hey. At least no one else is in here, now.

I'm...really having a hard time. I'm trying to help people out, because I feel like I've been cold lately. Helped my mom for hours on a construction job, and then yesterday on remodeling the living room, and today bringing the new furniture in. I'm really, really tired. Keep getting yelled at for my room being messy, but it's all I can do to drink a little water every day. If they wouldn't get mad at me for it, it'd actually be cleaner because I wouldn't be dealing with their anger on top of all the tasks.

My mom cries about me sitting down to cook or do dishes, about me using a cane, about me being tired all the time on the rare occasions she believes me. Says she's trying to help, but she's just pushing supplements and exercise and diet regimens on me.

I have to manage her emotions and expectations and help out as much as I can because everyone is stressed. None of their anger helps me. I hope it helps them.

It doesn't seem to, because they keep going over the same things. Or maybe it's easier to deal with if they yell as an outlet.

I got out of my dad's house. Here, it's lower stakes as far as anger, but I'm responsible for everyone's emotional wellbeing.

It's always been like that. I'm trying so hard to get my mom to just...vent to other people, solve her problems on her own. I shouldn't be the one she comes to for advice on dealing with her frustration with me. It's not okay that she cries at me whenever I feel her I have a problem with something she did. Or when I'm not free to do what she wants me to do.

She doesn't know any better. I've been trying forever to get her resources on...managing her emotions, talking to people, managing relationships.

She goes through friends like sparklers, fun and excitement and then she's overstayed her welcome and they don't have anything left they're willing to give her. So she takes it from me. And I can't leave, so that's worked for eighteen years.

I don't blow up, and she doesn't respect boundaries or calm words, so I tell her every time that I can't help her with these problems and she gets sad or mad and then comes back the next day with the same thing.

I have no privacy because my room has been under construction since before quarantine started. I'm sleeping in the living room. All the noises come into my space, and all the heat. Nana's mad because she wants to relax in there, and it's messy. Everyone comes in with no announcement and starts talking to me.

I failed 4 out of 5 classes last term because I can't think or get anything done in there.

This term I am taking one class and its lab, so there's less work, but I don't qualify for my scholarship this term and I'm falling behind on my degree.

But I'm at my limit, and I'm trying to respect that. The pressure is building in my head, and I'm worried I'll break down again, and worse. But I have nowhere to go.

What can I change, that I haven't tried and failed at already? If I could be left alone, this would be much easier.

But I live with my family, and they want and need things from me. It's almost midnight, and I think I might just go to bed. I have an in person doctors appointment tomorrow morning and I don't have a ride, yet, because everyone else's things are more urgent. Had to reschedule that appointment from today because my mom woke me up to do her thing and I forgot all about it and missed the whole thing.

Everything is... High strung, stress, energy. I'm already tired, and then any interaction is like running uphill, and if I try to ask for space it just drags things out.

My housemate gets it, a bit, but she's wrapped up in herself as much as any of them and often doesn't realize the effects of her actions. I'm alone, but I'm never alone. I don't know what to do.

#abuse tw #family #chronically ill #chronic pain #actuallyautistic #mine

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algrenion · 4 years ago

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“sometimes you just gotta be a bitch, honey!!”

* tw suicide / tw mental health / tw harassment

* long post, sorry - i don’t expect anyone to read this whatsoever but i need to get some stuff off my chest lmao

so i’ve been bullied into “talking” with (by which i mean “entertaining the flirtations of”) people who claim they will commit suicide if i don’t speak to them three times now

i just dealt with roughly a few days of solid and completely unsubtle harassment, as much as i don’t want to call it that, because i feel bad for that person

he says he has mental health issues and suicidal tendencies

but considering i had already told him that i have my own mental health struggles (specifying dissociative panic attacks and DID), and that i also have strong suicidal tendencies... does that really give that person a right to coherse and pressure me every half hour or so into responding to their manipulative behaviour? i told him multiple times that i rarely speak with even my best friends more than once every month, or three months, or maybe even six

despite this, messages kept coming in all throughout the day and night, like “it’s okay i know im ugly”, “i wouldn’t want to talk to me either”, or “my head’s in bad shape, i hope i don’t throw myself in the deep end talking to someone like you!”

all these messages (which were clearly baiting a specific type of sympathy and care) were interspersed with things like this

i learned after the first instance of this that i dealt with, that i am not responsible for these people - in just the same way that they are not responsible for me

i first dealt with this kind of manipulation at age... what, 13 years old? the person who pushed me to do so was someone i didn’t actually know, and they were “taking their life out of love for me” - i had no choice but to inform the authorities and block that person, because i had no idea how to save them from harming themselves, or blame me specifically for that self harm

as far as i’m concerned, you should not and CANNOT safely put an internet stranger’s health and wellbeing before your own

these instances may not be intentional, but they are scarring and traumatizing - at least for me - even in milder cases such as this one

i’ve only known this guy for a week, but here i am angry and scared and feeling wholely responsible for whatever actions he might take in order to make a point of his instability

how is that fair?

i don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me

i’m just not putting up with this shit anymore, and if he continues to harrass me publicly or privately, i will release every single message he’s sent me since he added me on facebook, twitter, and instagram (and if he has added me here too, i will also release it on tumblr)

i don’t want to violate this man’s privacy, but whether or not he meant to do so, i feel violated, i feel scared, and i feel like my patience has been weaponised against me

stop fucking with me dude

#harassment #tw harassment #tw suicide #tw mental health #sorry but if you guys saw the other messages this dude had sent me #it fucked me up man #i feel freaked out and seriously uncomfortable #i tried to be patient and nice because sometimes thats all it takes to make a friend but fucking hell this dude just kept getting...#more and more intense?#im tired and upset and ive been dealing with more shit around this and he didnt seem to fucking CARE so....#yeah.... im venting i guess gjsgd

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scaredandbored · 4 years ago

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the one with the sonic showers

for @julie-yard , (sorry it’s so ooc but it’s got DaForge in!)

word count (excluding the compulsory grouching i do in the brackets next because i ran out of space in the tags whoops) : 2233

(also this is my first ever piece of writing using solely other people’s characters so i apologise in advance lol)

(constructive criticism welcome just please be nice i cry really easily)

(hey so data is literally an android and geordie is CHEIF FRICKIN ENGINEER and i am Bad At Physics. so there are large gaps in dialogue which i would LOVE to do some more research on (not sarcasm i really would but i would get sucked into it and never actually write lol) but i’m more of a chemistry/biology Basic Bitch™️ so even though i’m supposed to know enough about sound waves to write that dialogue i don’t trust myself enough to do it)

(also, i’m a First Aid Responder, not a doctor, damnit! so all medical talk in this is me reading three (3) articles on chronic tension headaches and then seeming myself fit to write about it)

(sorry in advance, here you go!)

The alarm he had set for twenty minutes before the beginning of his shift made Geordie feel as though he was being hit repeatedly by a phaser. Wincing, he groped for his VISOR, slamming his other hand on the button that would stop the infernal shrieking. Logically, Geordie knew the noise was just barely above a soft trill, but as he rummaged around his drawer for his acetaminophen hypo, he was considering having a word with the senior medical staff about limiting the volume of the ships alarms in the interest of the crew’s wellbeing.

As usual, the hypo did very little for the inescapable pressure on his skull, and the activation of his visor did nothing but restore him to the state he was before the hypo. Grimacing, he dragged himself over to the replicator in the far corner of his room, toeing off the black regulation bottoms he’d slept in and tossing them into the laundry shoot as he walked by. “Coffee, black, sixty degrees Celsius.”. Hoping against hope the caffeine would keep the dull pain from spiking until he could administer her perscription later in the day. He rolled his head between sips of the slightly too bitter beverage, with the intention of loosening up in order to stave off neck and shoulder tension later in the day. “Computer, set a reminder to schedule a meeting with Dr.Crusher for me, will you?” The computer’s answering trill was, again, much too loud for his liking, so he gave a second order for all automated auditory responses to decrease intensity by 50%.

Sliding off his VISOR, Geordie decided to pick out his uniform and dress using muscle memory, the idea of putting his VISOR back on before absolutely necessary was enough to make his stomach turn, violently. “OK, so don’t put it back on, Geordie, it’s not rocket science.” he sighed to himself as he tugged the zip up, catching his thumb in his collar. Adequately annoyed at himself and already aching to take another shot of his hypo, Geordie lamented the fact he hadn’t decided to shower, the warm water would’ve done some good towards the inevitable spasms his upper back and neck would undoubtedly engage in later that evening. Sitting down, he pressed the heels of his almost-cool hands against his temples, rubbing around the terminals for his VISOR, where the ache was the worst. As he considered requesting sick leave and how to tell Riker he’d be missing poker tonight without raising suspicion, his communicator went off, the obnoxious trill sending a jolt of nausea through him as Barclay’s voice rang around his room.

“Barclay to Commander LaForge.”

Geordie winced and sighed before tapping his badge. “LaForge here.”

While Reg was relaying his message, Geordie reluctantly picked up his VISOR and clicked it into place. “There’s been several complaints shipwide about sonic shower malfunctions, the captain has asked us to assemble a team and look into it as soon as possible, sir.”

“Acknowledged. I’ll be in Engineering as soon as I can. Until then, Reg, you get a few ensigns and run a few tests on the basic functions in the malfunctioning units on the lower half of the affected decks. I want the results updated in real time so I can check them against the ones I’ll run. LaForge out.” Geordie considered popping into Sickbay on his way to see if he could get a muscle relaxer to avoid any serious cramping of his neck muscles, but the acetaminophen seemed to be kicking in, and he’d hoped this meant the worst was over.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

After numerous hours of running several different sonic showers at increasingly higher frequencies, Geordie felt as though his head was going to burst. He’d missed the hour he was supposed to re-administer his painkiller by a good thirty minutes, and the ensign he had taken with him to the upper decks had noticed his smile was less a smile and more a pained grimace. When she’d suggested he let her run a few tests while he updated the logs, Geordie had politely declined with a small laugh and an even smaller smile. When she repeated the question ten minutes later, he complied without a word.

Lunchtime arrived what felt like years later, when Geordie finally caved and turned himself into sickbay.

“Hey, Alyssa, can I talk to you for a second?” Geordie held out his hand in a sort of rushed, half-thought out greeting that immediately told Alyssa what it was Geordie wanted to talk to her about.

“Geordie, maybe you should sit the rest of your shift out.” Was all she said in the way of sympathy as she administered several of his usual hypos. This was why Geordie came to her before any other nurse on the Enterprise. Her sympathy was just enough to get her job done and she kept her pity to herself for the most part.

“Well, you know what they say!” Geordie jumped to his feet, rubbing his hands together briefly before giving one sharp clap to test the rapidly receding pressure in his head. “No peace for the wicked. I’ll see you around, Alyssa, thanks for the help.”

As Geordie moved out from behind the thin curtain Alyssa had pulled for privacy, he found himself looking straight up at his best friend, and his heart skipped a beat. “Data!” He grinned.

“Geordie.” Data’s head nodded in acknowledgement. Geordie admired the halo his VISOR caused around Data’s head. “I fail to see the relevance between your chosen turn of phrase and Nurse Ogawa’s reccomendation. I also object to the comparison you have drawn between yourself and the afformentioned ‘wicked’.”

“Data, it was a joke.” Geordie smiled again, the combination of the slightly stronger meds and his closest friend reducing the pain to a tolerable level. The fact his crush on Data was all-consuming only meant he had something to distract himself from what pain remained. “And Alyssa was just being nice, you know how I’d love to take an evening off to fool around on the holodeck.” Geordie immediately regretted his choice of words, but Data remained oblivious, his concerned head tilt still in place.

“Nurse Ogawa is not known for the benevolent prescription of unnecessary sick leave, Geordie.” He opened his mouth as if to suggest something, before closing it again and taking a step forward, placing his hand on Geordie’s shoulder. Now, it was Geordie’s chest that was under considerable pressure. “Do not hesitate to contact me if necessary. I must return to duty.”

Geordie chuckled in order to hide his disappointment at the loss of Data’s hand on his shoulder, shaking his head fondly. “No problem, Data. I’ll do that.”

Geordie was nearly out the door of Sickbay when Data called after him. “I shall see you at poker tonight, Geordie.”

It didn’t sound like a question, but Geordie knew Data well enough to know he was hoping to prompt a response. “I dunno, buddy. I’m kinda tired, if I’m being honest. I’ll let you know later, ok?”

Data blinked once, then twice, then nodded, his head adjusting itself into a neuteral position. “That is satisfactory.”

This time, Geordie laughed, the pain in his shoulders creeping up on him slowly once again, despite Data’s adorable half-attempt at a wave as the doors slid shut behind him. “Computer, what time is it?”

The shrill chime that preceded the response didn’t particularly hurt his head, but Geordie could feel his shoulders tensing even further, and he knew beyond doubt there was no way he would make it to cards that evening.

That evening found Geordie still in one of those awful, shrieking showers. He’d been technically off-duty for an hour now, and desperately needed to take off his VISOR for ten minutes, but Barclay had taken one look at Gerodie’s drawn face and refused to leave him alone in the bathroom they were checking out. “Hey Reg, do me a favour?” Geordie needed to get him out of the room so he could slip off his VISOR and massage his temples. That, or he needed to stop working with the shower on; the high frequencies were really not helping his situation.

“Sir?” Barclay’s hands had stuttered to a sudden stop the minute his commanding officer had spoken.

“Could you run and grab a coffee? The Gamma Shift doesn’t start for another five minutes, we can take a break from this instantaneous reporting.” Geordie didn’t take his head out from the panelling they had removed half an hour ago, afraid Reg would see the pained twist he could feel in his lips and call Dr.Crusher. He knew he could handle it, it wasn’t the worst pain he’d ever had from his VISOR, and he’d managed to subtly administer another hypo when he’d gone to grab them both a water around twenty minutes ago.

“Yessir.” Was Barclay’s anxious reply, and there was a prolonged silence between his response and the sound of the doors opening and shutting. They’d had to shut down all replicator and environmental control activity while they worked, which meant Geordie had five minutes to give his head a well-deserved break. Clicking the VISOR out of its terminals and heaving a sigh of relief, Geordie felt his head swim. Taking a few steadying breaths, he fumbled blindly at the sonic shower’s controls, silently cursing himself for not having shut it off before removing the VISOR. Only succeeding in shifting the tuning to an impossibly more painful frequency, Geordie sat down on the floor of the shower, back pressed against the back wall, head falling back against the cool slate. He rubbed at his eyes. “Goddamn.” His sigh made his head swim once more, and his subsequent calming breaths only served to worsen the sensation. The constant drone pressed down on his head so much the pain from that morning seemed as intimidating as... Geordie couldnt think properly; he could only conjure up an image of Data as he worked at his desk in his quarters, resolutely ignoring Spot on his stack of PADDs, aside from his gentle, regular strokes. The image made him smile, which caused his tensed muscles in his neck and shoulders to spasm, violently. Again, the deep breathing Deanna had helped him with when he’d first arrived on the ship did nothing but worsen the sensation.

Geordie dragged his shaking hand down his face, which came away damp with what Geordie briefly considered to be sweat, before everything went black.

There was a hand on either side of his face, a comforting pressure being applied by what felt like a pair of thumbs around the terminals on his temples. “Do not be alarmed, Geordie.”

Data was whispering, Geordie noted, and his tender head thanked the android for it. “Data? What happened?”

The thumbs stopped rubbing briefly, but resumed without hesitation when Geordie accidentally, slightly whimpered at the loss. “You passed out while completing your tests on the malfunctioning sonic showers. Dr.Crusher administered a variety of medications which she noted in your medical log, if you would like for me to read them to you?”

Despite his hushed tones, Geordie’s head really wasn’t going to put up with any noise for very much longer. “No, no talking, please, Data.” he managed to get out, curling up a little, before starting, which caused his shoulders to spasm lightly. “Wait, my VISOR-” Data’s hands shifted to the problematic muscles immediately, massaging firmly.

“I have your VISOR on the arm of your couch to my left. However, given the negative effect it has had on your condition throughout the day, Dr.Crusher has requested you refrain from replacing it this evening.” There was a pause as a mildly confused but very tired and complacent Geordie allowed himself to be gently manoeuvred into a reclined position, his head in Data’s lap while the second officer returned his hands to Geordie’s head. “I am here to assist you in every way possible, and I have downloaded various massage techniques frequently used on those who suffer from long-term, extreme tension headaches.”

“Why?” Geordie mumbled, slowly drifting off despite the pressure slowly returning with a vengeance behind his eyes.

Another pause, the hands stilled. Geordie frowned and they started to move again, but the silence continued. Just as Geordie was about to fall asleep, Data spoke. “You are my friend.”

“Huh?”

“I am helping you because you are my friend, Geordie.”

Geordie smiled softly, shaking his head. “I know that Data.”

Another pause, much more brief, and the hands did not stop their gentle rubbing on his delicate head. “What was the purpose of your inquiry, Geordie?”

And Geordie, as much as he wanted Data to know, he couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t say he wanted Data to be there because he liked the domesticity of this situation, to be there not only to massage his knotted muscles and play nurse, but to hold his hand, to kiss his forehead, to... “No purpose, Data.” He sighed softly, settling further into his best friend. “None at all.”

His breathing had lengthened, he was almost fully asleep but not quite there yet, when he felt cool lips press against one of the terminals, then the skin right beside it.

“Hmmm, Data?”

A pause. “Yes, Geordie?”

A mumble, the beginnings of a snore.

Slightly more urgently, “Geordie?”

“Said, I l’ve ya,,,”

Several minutes of soft snores and gentle massages later, an almost unintelligible: “I believe... I am in love with you also.”

fin

i was going to put in a bit about Data finding Geordie because he hadn’t gotten back to him about the poker but then i felt like it took from the kind of,,, geordie pov vibe i had going idk

hope you enjoyed!

sorry for all the inevitable typos i did this on my ipad and i didnt proof read because i’m kinda using this one shot prompt thing as a warm up to writing as opposed to actually writing fic? idk if that makes sense but i enjoyed writing it and i hope you enjoy reading it!

#the number of ‘research’ TANGENTS i went off on #im here to formally apologise to anyone with actual medical training #a bitch is only a FAR #the only medicinal treatment i know is aspirin for heart attacks whoops #i also have zero personal experience with chronic pain #and only mild migranes and shit #the only issues i have with my eyes all involve the vision going shitty #which obviously is no help here #so im apologising to people with chronic pain and who actually suffer from chronic tension headaches and stuff for my inaccuracies as well #i had fun though!#thanks for the request!#geordie la forge #fanfic #daforge #star trek #star trek tng #data soong #ok so confession #as much as i ADORE geordie and data and daforge #ive actually never read a fanfic for tng #because im afraid of spoilers #also im a whimp who wont read fanfic until ive consumed all the content lol #so as out of character as this COULD be #it doesnt even have the fandom’s characterisation/influences #im really sorry if this isnt what you were looking for #also i focused more on chronic pain than his blindness #i hope thats ok #wow this is a lot of tags #and none of them are relevant #bored writing

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jchakrajc · 4 years ago

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Psycho-Neuro-Immunology

Psycho - thoughts and emotions

Neuro - brain and nervous system

Immunology - the study of the immune system

Psychoneuroimmunology is a relatively new study on how the mind influences the immune system. There is conclusive research that indicates that our thoughts and feelings have a direct affect on our immune system function. The aim of this article is to breakdown this science into a simple to understand format with practical applications.

Psychoneuroimmunology (PNI for short) is a study of the Mind-body connection. PNI researchers study how our emotions and thoughts impact:

- The brain

- Hormones (endocrine)

- Nervous system

- Immune system.

Your thoughts affect your immune system. It can work the opposite way as well —-changes in the immune system create changes in your nervous system which lead to changes in your emotions. Quiet simply put stress and unhealthy eating habits can influence how you think and feel.

PNI research is concerned with the subtle interactions between our nervous, endocrine and immune systems and disease. The interaction between the different systems are complex but can be explained in a simplified manner.

For example, if you are experiencing fear, anger or other emotions that may increase your stress level, then these unsettling thoughts are picked up by the brain. The brain then stimulates the endocrine system to release hormones that have an adverse effect on the immune cell’s ability to divide. This causes a decline in immune function which may result in your becoming more susceptible to illness.

Simply put - your mental state affects your immunity. Research today is beginning to unravel the complex connection between your psychological state and your immune system.

The Immune System:

The immune system is a complex network of cells and proteins that defends the body against infection.

The body’s protective unit - first line of defense.

The immune system protects body against alien bacteria, viruses, fungi and parasites (invaders).

Destroys invaders using an army of white blood cells, natural killer cells and T-cells.

Promoting good gut bacteria is the key to a strong and potent immune system.

The immune system is comprised of organs, tissues, cells and cell products that all work together to fight harmful substances like the pathogens that cause infection and disease.

If our lives are greatly influenced by the hormones of stress, then the natural function of the immune system is suppressed, which leaves us more prone to illness or disease.

When stress is prolonged or unrelenting, it becomes known as chronic stress. Chronic or bad stress can be detrimental to mental and physical health. Constant worrying about things like family or problems are examples of chronic stress. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is another form of chronic stress.

The immune system is a collection of billions of cells that travel through the bloodstream. They move in and out of tissues and organs, defending the body against foreign bodies (antigens) such as bacteria, viruses and cancerous cells.

The main types of immune cells are white blood cells. There are two types of white blood cells:

- Lymphocytes

- Phagocytes

There are two types of lymphocytes:

B cells - produce antibodies which are released into the fluid surrounding the body’s cells to destroy the invading viruses and bacteria.

T cells - if the invader gets inside a cell, these (T cells) lock on to the infected cell, multiply, and destroy it.

When we’re stressed, the immune system’s ability to fight off antigens is reduced. That is why we are more susceptible to infections.

The stress hormone corticosteroid can suppress the effectiveness of the immune system (e.g. lowers the number of lymphocytes).

Healthy Mind Vs Stressful Mind

Being positive and having a healthy perspective could be the difference between longevity and disease. Every thought you have produces a chemical which signals the body to feel exactly the way you are thinking. In turn your thoughts will generate feelings, and your feelings will generate thoughts. This creates a vicious cycle — being mindful of your thoughts in the morning could be the difference in what type of day you have.

The release of stress hormones is the result of a number of complex and interacting factors such as the interaction between the stressors and our perception of the stress. How we perceive an event plays a very significant role in whether the stressor triggers our stress response or not.

One of the most important factors of stress management is the role that our perception plays in stress. Most people believe that it is external stressful situations or people that cause their stress. But this is not accurate, if it were everybody who was exposed to a particular stressor would be affected, which is not the case — we all react to “stressful” situations differently.

For example; if our perception is influenced by pessimistic thinking style, the potential event will be perceived as more of a threat than say another person exposed to the same potential stressful event but who has a flexible, non-rigid, optimistic thinking style.

How you perceive reality effects not only your physiology but also your health and wellbeing.

Stress can cause unhealthy behavioural coping strategies such as:

Drinking

Smoking

Drugs

Gambling

Shopping

Eating

Stress is also linked to:

Headaches (migraines)

Infectious illness (viruses)

Cardiovascular disease

Diabetes

Asthma

GI issues (gut health)

Auto immune disease

”Your cells will either be in a state of growth or protection and if your mind is ‘stressed out,’ then your cells are in a suppressed state, a.k.a breakdown mode—which will leave your body wide open and more susceptible to illness or disease.” ~ Bruce Lipton

Chronic stress:

Creates chronic inflammatory conditions.

Suppresses the smooth operation of the digestive system.

Lowers the immunity of those who otherwise have a healthy immune system.

When long-term stress becomes chronic, high levels of cortisol (stress hormone) begin circulating in the blood for an extended period of time.

All you need to know is that excessive amounts of CORTISOL run HAVOC in your body system.

We can reduce our stress levels by changing our thinking habits — outdated negative perceptions can lead to distorted thinking patterns which can paint events much worse than they actually are — keeping the vicious cycle of stress turning.

Our perceptions can be shaped by past experiences — perceiving reality through the lenses of the past. Let’s face it not all of our experiences have been full of joy and love, so it’s critical to identify the perceptions that are outdated and change them to healthy ones.

Stress Management Tips...

Keep a positive attitude.

Accept that there are events that you cannot control.

Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.

Learn and practice relaxation techniques meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness & excepting term of ur current life.

Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.

Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.

Learn to manage your time more effectively.

Set limits appropriately and learn to say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.

Make time for hobbies, interests, and relaxation.

Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.

Don't rely on alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to reduce stress.

Cells can transmit and receive non-physical packages of information that influences their behaviour.

Think about it - a stressful state changes the heart beat to be erratic which sends out pressure waves (informational waves of energy) to signals cells to change their behaviour (emergency state).

Stress disrupts all the major organs in the body that contribute to having a disrupted energy field.

When you are stressed, the cells in your body will be given information that keeps them in a protective state.

"Cells are either in a state of growth (harmony) or protection (stress) — they cannot be in both."

Our conscious minds have the power to influence cell behaviour — cells respond to thoughts — the stronger the emotional charge behind the thought, the more cells react.

Factors that influence cell behaviour:

• Stress

• Diet

• Exercise

• Sleep

• Perception

• Mind set

• Emotions

How you process and define different aspects of your life ultimately signals your cells to be in a state of growth or protection.

Learning to consciously harmonise your mind and body will enable you to upkeep the integrity of the cells in your body.

Question:

How does my mood effect my immunity?

Answer: If you regularly experience low vibrational emotions such as fear, anger or other emotions that may increase your stress levels, then it will be extremely difficult for you to maintain balance within the systems of the body.

Low vibrational emotions will begin to disturb your thoughts because the brain will pick up on the emotional feedback from the body.

The hormonal system in the body (endocrine) is a major player when it comes to maintaining a healthy balance. Stress disrupts the natural order of the endocrine system resulting that can result in chemical imbalances.

There are many medical conditions that remain a mystery to doctors and science that maybe caused by chemical-hormonal imbalances in the body. If the adrenal glands are overactive (stress hormone glands) then the other glands suppressed from their natural function.

The adrenal glands are taking up all the energy to activate stress hormones which suppress the other glands from naturally maintaining chemical/hormonal balance in the body.

MEDITATION IS MEDICATION

Meditation induces the relaxation response in the body which allows the body to reset and balance — creating coherence within all systems of the body. The relaxation response is our physical way of reversing the effects of stress and the physical stress response.

Individuals with high levels of stress should adopt a regular meditation practice to restore balance back in the body.

#pni #immunity #immunesystem #stress #self love #inspiration #knowthyself #attitudeofgratitude #leadfromwithin #facetheday #facethefear #understanding #joy

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